"When I am running, I feel everything is in sync. Even my mechanical leg becomes a part of me." SARAH REINERTSEN
I need a change. A change in almost everything I do, but I fear a change. I need to focus and understand everything about me. I feel that I am lost in a bunch of things that I cannot even understand myself. What is wrong with me? What is the matter with what I am going through in my life that I cannot understand. I feel as though life is not too complicated, but yet why do I make it complicated? I feel that running is my escape, my way of dealing with things because during the time in which I do run, I feel that I am not thinking about things.
A bunch of things have happened over the past 3 weeks. When life hits you, life hits you hard and I feel that I have been faced with many difficult decisions that maybe I made difficult for myself, but feel that I need to go through them myself. I need to figure things out and in the end it is my own self that is paying the consequences.
I wake up this morning only to find that it is raining in the beginning of the day. 6:30 am my alarm starts off and hears the old tunes of some re-run that have been playing the week before. I let the radio go off for a while and snooze my way back to sleep, in which I need it after a long week. I wanted to go running this morning and wait for the storms to narrow down and make a good opening…At 10am, I find that I wake up and ready to run. The storm has subsided and I call up JM to see if she had already ran. She had not and I needed a new route to handle for this week, so I resided in going to Brooklyn. I ran over the Brooklyn Bridge and made my ways towards JM’s place. We strolled around Brooklyn making it over to Prospect Park as I mulled over my life and the pieces that still remained.
We made our ways around Prospect Park strolling around at a moderate pace. It was good that I ran with JM. I didn’t need to rush the fact that I was coming back from a long vacation of running and it was good that I took my time to slowly ease back into things. I needed that and I needed these runs to not think about my life too much. The sun was shining and it turned out to being a marvelous day.
After our run we turned to the farmers market, where I saw people buying fruit and other vegetables with food stamps and this was my first time seeing this happen. The economic crisis is really hitting me as I had been succumbed with my job as well and everything around me has finally caught up. We walked and strolled around Brooklyn for a while…then went into the new TJ’s in Brooklyn and I ran my way back home. In all, we didn’t get hit by the rain, we had a perfect weathered day and it was good to be with one of my best running buddies that I can turn to whenever I needed help.
Oh...I loved the Nike passage on the back of MetroSports:
"you pretend the snooze button didn't exist. you dragged your butt out of bed while other slept. while others ate their pancakes. you had a feast of protein, gucose and electrolytes. you double-knotted. you left the porch light on and locked the door behind you. you ran. 5K, 10K 26.2 miles. some days more, some days less. you reward a long run with a short run. and a short run with a long run. rain tried to slow you. sun tried to microwave you. snow made you feel like a warrior. you cramped. you bonked. you paid no mind to comfort. on weekends. on holidays. you made excuses to keep going. questioned yourself. played mind games. put your heart before your knees. listened to your breathing. sweat sunscreen into your eyes. worked on your farmer's tan. you hit the wall. you went through it. you decided to be a man about it. you decided to be a women about it. finsihed what you started. proved what you were made of. just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer. for 25 years, you ran and we ran with you. how much farther will we go?
As far as you will."