Christmas Eve

"Nothing's better than the wind to your back, the sun in front of you, and your friends beside you." AARON DOUGLAS TRIMBLE

Nothing special about this day for me, although I do remember when I was little the joys and wonders of Christmas time and time of splendor the holidays bring. Now, all grown up, the holiday spirit doesn’t take me far, but it is more of a time for reflection than anything else.
Well, gosh I guess I was the only one in the holiday spirit at work because I got to work and put on my Santa hat. What is up with that…we got out early anyways and it was more of day to catch up or rather get ahead of work scheduled. But really no one was in the office, so I stayed in and did some drawings to catch up with work since I had been at meetings all week.
As we got out of work, I finally had also time to catch up on some NY Flyers stuff with finalizing some items with the newsletter. It was good to just get some stuff done and this way when JM comes back with all the corrections, I will have a better turnaround time and hopefully not many corrections for her to correct. Also adding in JM’s editor note which made me cry during work because it was pretty heartfelt and I never expected that (but for all you flyers out there, you will have to wait to read the newsletter which hopefully will come out on the first of next year.)
I made a quick book stop at Barnes and Nobles doing some research on Dyslexia and then filed on home. It was about to rain and the thought of running was on my mind, although I went on my couch and turned on the TV. Uh! My roommates were both out for the holidays, which left me no modivation at all to get up and out…the rain drops started and that were the deal breaker for me. No running in the rain.
I cooked dinner and then at 10:45ish I decided to get up and out to go to Midnight Mass. I usually do this for some reason just to hear what the sermon was talking about and what the reverend had to say and just being in churches allow me to gather my thoughts and a good place to reflect. I am not religious, although I believe and believe in my own moral that I set for myself.
As I walked to the church and sat by myself at the pew, the sermon went on as this:
The reverend was rather confused, but I get the point, he explained about how people are these days, what you see is what you get, but sometimes what you see is not really what you get. People in NYC perceive as though they are strong, carefree, nothing is bothering them and in the strongest sense, that we are strong people. Models walk around like they own the city, they have the best bodies and they are gorgeous. NYC is perceived to having an ego, a larger aspect to life that you are better than anyone else out there and you have no weakness.
The strong character fa├žade foreshadows what is untrue or un-natural talents or weaknesses (which we all have)...and those tend to go on your good and bad days...where everyone has their weaknesses. For me, I may be great a running, but I am aweful in other aspects of reading, writing and grammar. I know that and in some ways it as I look at it in hindsight, I may even have grown up with Dyslexia. If you read my blog, you will know that I have an unusual way of writing and it’s the main stream of thoughts that run through my head. I find that writing soothes me though, as though I hated writing before when I was little and never even could think about writing a paper for book reports. I always felt that it was hard to get my thoughts across. But running has helped me write about something that I love so dearly and I have accepted my flaws. I cried during the reading of JM’s editor note because I know my flaws and weaknesses, I know that I would not have existed as Secretary for the NY Flyers without her help. In actuality, we should have shared the role as Secretary and I have appreciated her stature of helping me every step of the way with these newsletter pieces and editing them out with me. That is why I would be forever grateful and in her dept for the longest time. But in many ways, I appreciated the sentiment of her friendship with all of this, I do view some of the 3 greatest friends to run with as my crew. These people are the greatest thing that has happened to me in this Flyer organization and they have shown me the compassion, the future and every aspect of life that they have encountered.
Which brings me to the third or second thing that the sermon entailed: Embrace what you have, work on your weaknesses and know that you have friends that will support you…
Running to me is my strongest aspect in life, that is why I pursue it with a passion, I embrace my strong points of my NATURAL talent. I know that it is natural and I know that I was born with speed, but I embrace it. I know that I also have limits, I don’t think I will ever be able to reach a 2:45 marathon, but I am a natural born sprinter, not a long distance runner. I have yet to know the depths of running distance and am still a beginner.
I know my weaknesses and try to embrace that as well. I know deep down that you have to work on everything that you have in life. You are only born once, so you have to be confident in what you have. Live life without regrets, but be sympathetic with all the feelings that you have around you. No one is perfect in life, not even those supermodels. Everyone lives in insecurity in some aspect that you have in life and you need to live with your strengths, weaknesses and enjoy the simplicities of life.
As church wrapped up with silent night, I strolled around the city afterwards just walking the streets of NYC. It’s the only time of the year where you have a clear view of the city as you own it. Embrace it for what you have and it was so peaceful and quiet. My thoughts were to my grandfather last night as the holidays of Christmas is not what it use to be and my family not getting together was a harder deal for me…but as all years, Thanksgiving is my family time.

1 comment:

Laura said...

You post so many great quotes, but I think that's my favorite one so far. Also, thanks for the thoughtful/inspired post :)