1/16/09

Do I really like running or like the pain?

"Running is my meditation, mind flush, cosmic telephone, mood elevator, and spiritual communion." LORRAINE MOLLER
I decided to toughen it out in this blistering cold weather and decided to run at least it was sunny out and I had my Friday’s off...but not today, since I had to go to a meeting in Brooklyn. I calculated that since I went in early, I was able to go early and the sun was still shining. I left the office at around 3:30 with the same running attire, but ditched the vest for a running jacket. It was cold and for the first time, my legs felt the weather. There was an even crazier runner out there with shorts. I decided to take the same route as last weeks Wednesday’s run, which was up to 23rd street and then cut to the Westside...but this time it was colder! As I crossed over to Chelsea Piers, I didn't see the time and temperature, but knew it from the bone chilling cold. I went to the west side along the Hudson and basically admired the Hudson for what it was...scary how a day before there was people that were saved from the miracle of a plane that landed when a flock of birds killed both of the engines...
Literally, it was really great that the pilot was able to land the plane: 1) With no ferries, water taxi's or any other transportation going across.
2) No ice in the water
3) Temperature of the water was not freezing like today
4) Any kind of other disruptions in the water would have toppled over the plane and spin it out of control.
5) Any other explanation that you may bring…

Anyways, the NYC emergency units were quick on the scene to save these people. It really was none of their times to die...and they were lucky. Anyways, saw the coast guard boats around and snapped a shot.

Then headed down towards Battery Park, where the plane was supposed to be. The whole area was swarmed with cops and news crews just wanting a peek at the airplane when they had pulled it out. There as a crane on a barge that was out, but all you could see was the wing or tail end of the plane peaking up from the side of the wall. That's it, that's as close as you could get...and I took my hands out to take the picture and by the time I had put them back in. It was numb. That is how cold it was! It was freezing and I had contemplated on even going into the winter garden to warm my hands up...but there was another snow bunny that passed me, then I passed her.

I was going to ask her if she was training for a marathon.

Why? Why would you be out in the cold like I, if you were not crazy as I? I say that only because I should not even be out there in the cold and was only out there to complete my training runs because I had not been out on Thursday or can not be out tomorrow due to family obligations. I was just about to, but somewhere she turned course and I was left alone…again.

I stuck through, went through the cold winds, fought through the bitterness and stinging chills. It was painfully cold. I rounded out to the Staten Island Ferry...in my mind I was thinking of blog posting names for this, coming up with "a perfect 10" and something else positive. How that changed when I rounded out the island to "when can I be done" or "have I tortured myself enough?"

By the end, I think the title is fitting. This I keep thinking is true though…Do I really enjoy the pain? Running marathons is all about pain and how much you can endure. How much pain can you take…really though…do I really like running as much as I say I do…or is it just a reason to endure such pain? I contemplated this as I came back. My hands were frozen. I tried to sprint on back, increasing my speed as the circulation was running through my veins. My head was nearly frozen as the wind blew through my sweaty hat. It was FREEZING and the wind just hustled and bustled…my face was frozen as my cheeks were pretty much numb…Again, I rounded out the piers…why? I don’t know why…again I feel that I love pain and the wind really coming at me like needles and icicles just piercing at my skin.

At one point, I didn’t even feel the cold anymore, but felt it as the wind blew on it. Freezer burn…absolute frozen frost as you can definitely feel the cold burning sensations of just pure COLD on your skin. It hurt…it stung.

I sprinted on home, come into the office as my boss was leaving. He asked me if I just had ran, I told him that it was cold out there and I was frozen. A co-worked walks on by, looks at me as she said that my whole face was red. I take off everything and strip down nearly to a t-shirt and my tights. My frozen body was nearly defrosting and everything started to sting, hurt with great pain and fire in my cheeks as though I had been in the direct sun just burning from the heat. It was freezer burn…it was bad. All I could do was just waddle my chair back and forth as I can increase my circulation and help the process. I couldn’t move much though, it hurt really bad…but probably I felt so ALIVE. I know, I’m sick…I need help…really.

I finally came down to the conclusion. I am crazy. I am sick…I have a few loose screws in my head and I think I enjoy the pain of running. Pure passion of pain.

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