2/12/09

Re-Start…

"Running changed my life and brought it into balance. I now feel as though my entire essence, body, and soul is centered." DONNA ISAACSON

Sometimes you just want to draw a line in the sand, cross over and then start over. That’s how my day went today…pretty much I just wish I can push the reset button in life. There have been three (3) different people in my work place have offered me advice to pick it up. Why? I’m already working like 150%...

It’s so grueling, demanding and well…I’m still learning. Why do they expect me to know all this stuff? I mean really now? Seriously? They are concerned about me, and I am concerned about myself. I don’t know if I have changed in the last 6 months, if I have received more work or if I am not meeting up with their expectations. I just know that I have gotten 5 different jobs on my hands that at times I feel very overwhelmed. But there is a time and a place. A time where I feel like I can take everything on, a time where things slow down and I like having 5 different jobs, and a time where I am overly booked. Where is the give and where is the take? I still seemed to have just learned the very basics of what I need to know. Everything is becoming a little routine, but still I don’t understand a whole lot sometimes and when I do ask (which I am suppose to ask questions. I feel stupid. I feel very stupid and feel that when I ask questions, people look down upon me. I feel downgraded to a level where I am dirt and whenever you ask a question, you are suppose to feel like you are ok, satisfied and move on knowing something better is coming out of it. When I ask questions, I feel like I am expected to know the answer, feel like how I forgot…

Whatever, Architecture is rough. Suck it up and move on… it has its rewards, although there are downtimes that really take the toll. For the past 2 weeks, I have been beaten up and chewed and spit out. I just came back from vacation (seriously, I should have not even taken that break off and some of the days I didn’t) what was I thinking? These are the reasons why I don’t take vacations. But move on…we’ll re-evaluate this weekend and try to make things better for me and my co-workers.

Reset!

Anyways, my co-worker who sat me down told me that since I was a runner, you pretty much are very individualistic when you are a runner, she told me to be a team player, which our job is all about. Umm…ok…I know how to be a team player…no problem…we’ll just try harder.
In all, a good run tonight. Running is my only safety haven that I feel like I can control on my life. I feel free, free from thought, free from the world, free from evil. I don’t know what is wrong with me and really have been trying to work at 150%. I am giving everything to architecture…but it’s not enough. Guess the economy really has gotten me down. I ran up to Central Park and thought I had been late. Thought that I had to catch up with the group because I didn’t think I would make it up there in time. It was quite the windy night though and I should have worn something like pants instead of shorts…Shorts in February? Yes, it was about mid 40’s though the wind blowing was crazy!

I made it up right in time when the group was about to leave….just in time! PBJ, The Lam, NL (who usually never runs in the group), LFG…all present as I came in to join…E arrived shortly after as I sped up and chatted with him for a while about the Flyer Flu…as E had told me his episodes and told me that James had it. I had no clue that James got it. We went on discussing about the 2009 challenge that we had set up…which we both were scared about DL…who hasn’t even began running, although when he begins, be scared! BE VERY SCARED! E left me at 72nd street where I ran alone to the finish and then turned back around and headed back home…

On my way home on 9th avenue, I nearly got trampled by a Chinese delivery man almost hitting me straight on. I put my arms out, so he wouldn’t force upon me to get hurt, or him getting over his bars, …or even penetrating metal in me…anyways, everything can go wrong lately…

I just need to re-evaluate my situations and make the most out of things. Smooth things over and go with it…and if anything…run less…right?

Boston update:
Congratulations! We're honored that you will be one of the competitors in the 113th running of the Boston Marathon. Registration for this year's Boston Marathon sold out in record time, and we look forward to delivering you a memorable experience. Over the next two months, we will be sending you various information, including race news and participant details, as well as some special offers.
Best of luck with your training, and we look forward to seeing you in April. As a reminder, below are some upcoming key dates:

113th Boston Marathon Important Dates
February 27 (date has been been extended)


If you have improved upon your qualifying time, your seeding can be adjusted. Please send a copy of your confirmation card, with your improved time, to our Registration Office (One Ash Street, Hopkinton, MA 01748) by this date.

Late March
Bib numbers will be assigned and the break between Waves One and Two will be determined. Bib numbers will be determined by your qualifying time and posted at www.baa.org. Though the break between waves will vary from one year to the next, it occurred at approximately 3:35:00 in 2008.

Early April
You will receive your Number Pick-Up Card and Welcome Booklet with race instructions. Bib numbers and wave assignments will be printed on that card.

Friday, April 17 (2 p.m. to 7 p.m.)
John Hancock Sports and Fitness Expo
Hynes Memorial Convention Center

Saturday, April 18 (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.)
John Hancock Sports and Fitness Expo
Hynes Memorial Convention Center

Sunday, April 19 (9 a.m. to 6 p.m.)
John Hancock Sports and Fitness Expo
Hynes Memorial Convention Center

Monday, April 20
113th Boston Marathon

2 comments:

dana said...

I think everyone feels like a fraud at work some days. It's very frustrating. All you can do is keep on doing your best, all the time, and be glad you have a job.

The fact that people are taking the time to give you advice is good in that it suggests that they see promise in you and want things to work out well. . . so there are some positive things to take away from that.

Trakmaniak said...

Dana...

thanks for the good advice...I'm taking in consideration of what they have said. Definitely learning...crossing a line in the sand and saying...let's start over...with my lessons learned.

Thanks for the advice!