3/3/09

Why are we here?

"I ran to be free; I ran to avoid pain; I ran to feel pain; I ran out of love and hate and anger and joy." DAGNY SCOTT, Runner's World Complete Book of Women's Running

I had heard from my partners that one of my co-worker and cubical mate's father had passed away. I could remember when another co-worker's father had passed after my grandfather, due to cancer...well; he shared his story to me and her when I was trying to console her with my own from my grandfather passing in November.

It's hard to deal with things and in all three of our cases it was due to cancer. Dealing with death is difficult. In many ways, you have to move on. In many ways, you live your life, but you will have grief...and only you can make that grief go away.

I went to his father's wake after getting a little lost trying to find it and ended up in Astoria, but had to go to Woodland Blvd. I had left before my co-workers to meet NK at the bar for this Thursday night fundraising event...of course for Alzheimer's.

So I sat there in front and basically didn't know too many people since I had gotten there late and my co-workers had all left in that large group. As I sat there, in some ways it had lessened the blow of my own grandfather. In some ways it had brought the feelings back, although it made me realize a whole lot and I am reaching closure from that. I have come to terms that the whole effects of my grandfather’s death were not the death of just losing him, but were the effects of him taking his last breath. We breath as human beings, we breath as runners...the effects of just that what life is really about.

Are we here on Earth at this very time and existence for a reason? What reason? Why do we go through all of these aspects of growth and maturity and why do we function the way we function. We see thought our eyes, as life passes us by, minute by minute. We work hard, we live life hard and we run hard.

But why?

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