6/22/10

Laid Off...

The toughest thing for an employer to do is lay a person off...now, I have been awaiting to get laid off for quite some time now and the thought of having one of the partners come to my desk, have them say, follow me...lead you down a hallway to a conference room or nother office and another partner is waiting for you is never a good sign...

Well...I was put on furlough last year...right around this time, and all I can say is that it's just as hard for an employer as an employee...but, everything went bad last year when it first started...

Well...in any indication, I sort of looked forward to this as last week was more of a nightmare than anything else. I was whole heartedly put through humiliation as I was put to a lower than intern position of helping clean up the library. Granted, I learned from this experience and was humbled, humiliated, but humbled...you learn thought life's problems...

For me, I awaited this for about 3 months where nothing was going right. Pressure surmounted where I had to get everything correct and nothing was even at ease...it was no longer fun, but just a heap of hatred to higher expectations. Egg shells were on my feet and all I could look forward to was my afternoon runs...it was my only escape.

I no longer learned, rather was afraid to ask the wrong questions and do something wrong...it was utter...well...just unexpected.

But that was all about what happened today, just the reality of it all...the fact that it was my 3rd layoff in 5 years? Right? Stability in many ways of architecture? It shows that the occupation is not too stable.

Yes, I can be as savy as other people, I can give it all I can and focus on just architecture, but that was college and I have learned that there is much more to just work in life. So much more rewarding things than just your job. But maybe I am getting it wrong?

In life there is a balance between job and your actual life, you need to make things equal to balance between the two and make things right...you need your own personal life though, but know that your job leads all evils to what makes things work...and that is just the nature of life...

There is many different sayings: " more money, more problems" or money is what drives the soul...but one thing is true...there is a balance of happiness between money and the job you do...the reward for some people is that they absolutely love what they do, but are paid like crap, there are people who are paid a whole lot, but hate what they may do...

It's the balance between it all...
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6/15/10

Where are you?

Yes, it's summer and yes, it's the start of the busy season where architecture, running and coaching collide.

It's very crazy where life has been somewhat difficult for me. Finding pennies on the ground (although yesterday finding a quarter) and trying to find out what I really want to do in life...

I think I had a mid life crisis yesterday? At 29 years of age, I am finding myself even more confused about what I really want to do. Is that so wrong? I found myself lost, as though I know what I really want but afraid to take the steps to get there...

Do I want to become a physical therapist? Am I afraid of failing? Do I want to go back to school once again?

Life is tough, it really is...but this job has really put me in a position where I am really confused...do I like architecture anymore? I went through such hard work and worked hard in life to get me to this point...

For the past two weeks my life has been turned upside down...

_Loss of my wallet two days before my birthday...with my roommates...
_Friends celebrating my birthday the day before at a picnic
_my actual birthday where I spent time with some close friends
_the alzheimer's awareness forget me not gala, where the Jr Committee was honored and the marathon team as well...
_getting taken off my job and pushed aside, while also being told to work and clean up the firm

It's strange in life. There are times where you are pushed to your very limits and you realize a whole lot of things, then there are times where you have to face the facts and decide which road you want to take. Life is very difficult in that way, it's full of choices the path that you decide to take, you need to stick with it and move on and live life.

I need to make that choice...it's been one year since my furlough period, which put me in the dumps and strung me out. I realized a whole lot since then, gained new friends and realized a whole lot about myself. It has caused many different problems, although if life had changed where I was laid off instead, maybe lots of things would have changed.

I think a whole lot about this...about what life has brought me within the year. There are lots of achievements, lots of happy times and lots of low points, where life has gotten me to a point where things needed to move on...

Decisions need to be made...the time is now I guess...

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6/4/10

Hot out there...

Ok, so I have been slacking on the writing department where I had not written about the past 3 hot events such as breaking 3 in the Boston Marathon, running the Bear Mountain 50 miler and Ragnar Relays...let alone my own Birthday...

But here it goes as of this week...and last night...

Yes, it's scorching hot and humid outside as I ran home and as I got home from a very hot day...I was drenched with sweat and my pores was definitely not stopping. I was dripping all over the place and my roommate was using the bathroom so I could not just jump into the shower.

This week has been seriously really busy as I have been trying to keep my regular work separate from my alzheimer's work (which seems as though I am doing a whole lot of the work to keep things successful.)

I have been drained, exhausted and just really tired. My coaching jobs really hasn't started yet and it's going to be a very busy summer...I can feel that coming.

Anyways, hopefully I can keep up...
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6/2/10

Walk up!

So get into work this morning to find that the elevators did not work and the power was out! Ha...wait, what does that mean?

Everyone had to walk up the stairs and my office is on the 9th floor!

So people were bitching and complaining, here and there and some people were in a bad mood, huffing and puffing and all worn out! As I rounded into the office, some people were already there and awaited for whomever to show up...when I arrived, they were like, oh this is not a big deal for you at all...and it wasn't! Well, walking up 9 floors is not a HUGE deal, but it still is a big deal.

I nearly stepped on a huge dragon fly this morning and it would have been bad luck...or I just got scared and scared the bejeezes out of me...oh well...

That's my morning commute for ya...

Oh yes, I also had to shower in the dark this morning as all I could see is my glow in the dark bracelet...cold shower, dark as I closed my eyes to shower...oh well...got out and heard the hum of the printers...turned back on the light and changed out of the dark...

Wheew! What a morning!
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