Well...what can I say...V-day is not really a great holiday for me as now I will always keep it dear to my heart of keeping this day in light of my grandmother.

This weekend was filled with family and well...keeping the happiness in my life. LR kept me busy by celebrating V-day early with a cooking class. It was fun as we learned how to bake tarts of all kinds...dessert and apps.

My sister came on Sunday morning as my cousin and I went to pick her up...it's always good to see my sister from time to time as she is always on the up scaled hyper fun loving person. She brings the chatter and laughter out of us all...I guess, or maybe it's just the fond memories that we share together.

Anyways, today is V-day and it's somewhat special. All my plans are dampered still due to the fact of my emotions that I try to hide. Is this good? The light will shine tomorrow as the wake and funeral will follow. It will be tough, because my grandmother meant so much to me and my childhood. I was the youngest, so my grandmother and everyone took care of me. Scary huh?

I tried to take care of my grandmother and any others with the fight against the Alzheimer's disease. Sometimes it seems useless...now that things have taken over, but in light, sometimes you need to fight harder.

My life sometimes I feel is in shambles...I can't seem to find a job that I am looking for, that I will enjoy and really put my foot in front and say that I am proud of what I do. I need that. I need something to bring me to great happiness...not saying that I am not happy at all now, but there are times where it seems hopeless...how can I provide for a future, family and growth? I need something...and therefore go into a depressional state.

I found that sometimes the weather effects my moods now. Now the winter weather is amongst us. I am finding that since I am out in the cold all day, I don't want to venture out into the cold when I get back home for a run. I don't want to do it...and training? Yes...I am failing on this as well...

Life will be better. It will get better and hope to shoot for the stars...

I just need to refocus and keep plowing away...

The next two days will be rough though...time will only tell...
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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