4/29/11

Respects...

Today, I had a day off from work as I was thinking about going back home to gather all of my architecture stuff to start applying back to architecture firms again...it has been a year off from that world, and I need a little stabilization in my life.

This past year has been a whirlwind, as my head has constantly been just everywhere. Seriously, the amount of years that I have lost in my life is just breathtaking and I will never get that back.

I have been in search for a "dream job" which now I am uncertain that I would have been comfortable with. My question to myself is, what is happiness...I have seemed to have lost that in my life and I have been very confused about where my life structure seems to be heading.

My mind as a whole has been jumbled to a point where I don't know what's up or down. I am constantly confused, and disoriented. I can't seem to find comfort in anything and days seem to go by as I am still in search for my life...or what desires I have for my life.

There is a time and a place where you have to go back to your roots and start over.

Anyways...since I am going to be going up to Westchester, I thought it would have been extremely appropriate to go to visit my grandparents who have passed.

I had been planning already to go to go 2 weeks ago before the Boston Marathon, as my whole family went out before Easter...supposingly it's this whole Chinese tradition to go pay your respects at the cemeteries the weekend before Easter or around that time.

I bought my ticket up, knew my way around the area, since Need for Speed Relay had been around that area as well and we actually drove past my Grandfather's grave, which I wanted to get out to pay my respects to...but that's another story...

As I headed from the train station, I knew that the trains were an hour apart from each other, since I had to run, I knew it was about a mile away...around the town a little and up a hill. As I geared up the hill (I only had one contact in this morning due to my eye causing some trouble) and thought I had seen a truck coming down the hill...with something attached to the back...but it was on the other side of the road...

I thought I had been seeing things and stopped, when I saw that there was another SUV on the other side swerve to the side, the truck came whizzing down not knowing that the trailing thing (which was a portopotty) was on the other lane...it nearly hit the SUV and the car in back of it...

Fragments came off on the SUV and / or the Portopotty and the truck finally stopped at the end of the road where there was a stop light...

The guy in the SUV was pissed, I had to continue on my run up to see my grandparents...

As I entered Kensico Cemetery, there was a silence that sweeps the scene...a silence...pure serenity.

I made my way up to see my grandfather (my dad's dad) to pay my respects...I had a little trouble lighting the incents, but it got there...bowed 3 times and laid some stones on the head stone.

Then I made my way towards my other grandparents...my grandmother that had recently passed away and had the Alzheimer's Disease and my grandfather who I absolutely adored. I had trouble lighting the incents on this side and payed my respects knowing that they are together and will never be forgotten...I stayed there a while...then finally had to go and catch the train back.
As I went back to the train station, I could see now that the police was now involved and the guy with the SUV had called in.

I guess his car got scratched...

I waited for the train...and now, I am to go home...

Those who will never be forgotten...
Grandma Kam- November 13, 1926 - February 10, 2011

Grandpa Kam- June 10, 1925 - October 19, 2008

Grandpa Hsia
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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